I found out, i really lost a friend.
No just a friend, but most of my friends was apart from me.
But the most best friend i ever had, is leaving me too.
I know the day will come, & i wish this day come quick.
So that, i can release from the pain that i had.
Maybe i dun know how to communicate with people.
That why i'm losing all my dear friend.
Losing all friend not a bad news for me, but a good news.
This mean, i can be me again that no one know me.
They maybe know me before, but they do not know me now and in my future.
I had closed my heart in the some area of my life, when the person had reach the level that i set.
I'll started to let them hate me, then let them leave me.
The longest time they know me, the most pain will i get when i cutting off the relationship.
Why? Why i want to cut off this wonderful relationship?
Because i'm a sinful person, i'm strongest jealousest people in this world.
I can't accept another person stand in between me and my friend.
I can't accept another person position is more important than me in my friend's heart.
I'll just cut of this relationship before everything is going worst.
If i had hurt anyone, i'll just keep in heart and say it is just a storted pain for you.
When time past by, you will forget that i'm your friend.
I'm fear of rejection since few years ago.
It had made me become weird when i in this situation.
Sorry to the people i had hurted, & i dun know how to settle this matter.
I also dun want to settle, the more i face it, the most pain will come to me.
In the way that u dun know, the pain will come to me day and night.
I dun know how to face the fear, so i runing away from it.
Hope you understand and accept what is what.
I'll not blame on you, this is not your problem, but is my own.
The fear of Rejection had stay in me.
